His Birthday. :)

HUANG JUN XUEN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

You're officially 19. A year older. More responsibilities will be on your shoulder.

You are a great man! A guy that every girl is able to rely on. Don't be sad if one is over.. Memories are created. No regrets =)

May your 19th birthday brings you love, health, wealth and not forgetting, your good feng shui. Always take good care of yourself. Drink less beer, NEVER EVER SMOKE and all the other promises you made okay? ;)

Life's too short to grumble. Be happy. Cherish and appreciate now. =)

Heart has 4 chambers. It's strong. It's elastic. It'll be okay.

XOXO, JL.

Valentines Day. :)

Happy Valentines Day, everyone! May everyone be bless with love, love and love in this Feb 14th. :)

Thank you to everyone who loved, loves and loving me. Thank you for all the sweet memories that we created together. Thank you :)

XOXO, JL.

Choir!

My college is currently having the Mini KAKOM where all games will be played as a competition between hostel blocks. It really is a hot season! ;)

I auditioned for Choir and entered something more indoors. The first meeting was.... Not-so-good. But hey! Look where are we now. It's just awesome. Glad they take in advices. =)

I have the feeling we're gonna BOOOOOMMM the college for sure. Our songs are currently PNC though. XD

Just to keep up with the CNY atmosphere, I think my previous post is a little too cold. So yeah, this is a better one. :)

P/S: I'm glad I did well in my MUET examinations. Thank you to everyone who has never stop believing and supporting me! =)

Gonna watch Laughing Gor: Turning Point today. :D

XOXO, JL.

The 500th.

Well.. It's my 500th post. Too bad it's not going to be a good one.

I remember how she smiled proudly when he got it. Everyone was so happy. The joy just filled the air. At that moment, I knew, I had to work ten times harder. It's not like I didn't. I think I did. I studied very hard and I don't think my result is that bad. But sometimes, you just have to admit that it's fated. It's just not meant to be.

I know how they feel. How everyone expect that I'll be there but I'm actually just here. How I'm not the topic of their joyful conversation. I've learnt to be strong. I've learnt to accept the fact. I've learnt to say "I'm okay" when really, I'm not. I can't be a cry baby over the same matter. I know I have to grow up and accept.

While others may think that it can't be that bad here, I hope you know it's not easy either. Sometimes, I do agree. At least, I've learnt the hard way to be independent. This time around... I'm guessing everyone will be talking about it.

I'm really sorry that I didn't make you feel proud then. I tried, I really did. Today, your actions/ your tone really hurt me. The fact that you weren't doing anything and you just want to end the call after how I excitedly told you about my trip. I'm guessing it's a rough day for you. Sorry that I can't be there.

I hope I'm thinking too much. But... Why do I feel this bad if it's just a thought? Don't get me wrong. I've always known that I'm considered very lucky if I were to compare with many others.

Please let me live my dreams.

XOXO, JL.

2012.

In just another one day or so, 2011 will come to an end and 2012 is the start of a new chapter.

No doubt, 2011 has been a very long and memorable journey. The end of high school marks the beginning of college life. College life started on a rough path. It took me a lot of time to get used to the new surrounding and accept the fact that "I'm here" but fortunately, I got over it. Making a lot of new 'sisters' and 'brothers' along the way, that's precious. =)

Thank you to all of you who had leave your footprints in this wonderful 2011! :)

I hope 2012 will be another memorable year. Another journey to remember. The first one will be my very first countdown with 24 awesome people at Gurney tomorrow. Can't wait :)

Made a few resolutions for the upcoming year:

1. Ace all my college exams and quizzes
2. An escape to Thailand with my college brother and friends (Bro, you see. It's very important. Part of my 2012 resolution. XD)
3. Vacation with my family. =)
4. Have courage to make the right decision.
5. Have fun ;)
6. Try something new.
7. And finally, as usual. Yale, US, one day. :)

P/S: Let's hope 2012 is not the end of the world so that I can have many years to live to continue my dreams. =D

XOXO, JL.

2 weeks, GONE!

Ahhh.. 2 weeks passed by as if it was just yesterday. Why are you so cruel? I've just started to enjoy myself and you're taking it away from me. Everyone has holidays for at least a month while I only have half of it. =(

Ans: That's what you get for fast-track. Too bad. :((((

It's really sad that my KL buddies are still having their exams and college. Carmen, Ziwah, Pik Ki, Olivia, Yee Xuan - All the best and good luck :) Yun Shi, heard that you're at KAKOM - Best wishes :D Only get to meet Julia and Yih Mey this holiday. I know the next time we meet, it'll be very, very long. I have 5 months long holiday after April/May. Anyone up for a vacation out of Malaysia? I'm longing for it and I know I won't stay put in KL during that period. Let me know if you're up for it. ;)

Had a wonderful outing with Julia and Yih Mey just before I take my flight back to Penang on Friday.  I'm so sorry to all of you who requested an outing of Friday, but I really can't. =( Watched You Are The Apple Of My Eye, it's hilarious + romance. Definitely teenage flick. We bumped into the Angelic, Angel. LOL. She shouted in front of the cinema and everyone was staring but we still hugged in public. It's like those days once again. *winks* Anyway, thanks for the time to both of my KL buddies! It's time like this we always get nostalgic huh? XD Those times in CBN. Ahhh :) Went back to CBN with Julia to get our SPM certs. Many teachers left and apparently, more will be leaving. This is a piece of bad news for CBN. Had an awesome talk with my class teacher, Puan Lim. :)

Yih Mey was right when she said the best time she had was when she was in high school. No doubts =) The craziness, the hyperness. Although I have to admit we had our rough times, but we can't have the rainbow without a little rain right? Besides, ain't those times are the reason why we are who we are today? :)

I do not know when will be the next time we have our high school gathering. Everyone is sooooo busy. KL peeps. XD But if we ever have that chance, I know we'll cherish that moment for a life time. =)

Keep the good moments with you, forever. 

XOXO, JL.

Feelings.

They are right when they said it's impossible for you to control your feelings. It just come, no way to avoid it.

I'm not that type of girl who expresses much. But when someone do extraordinary much for you, it's just impossible for you to not feel it. While some of you might think that it's really hard to be with someone that is entirely different from us, trust me. I'm with you. I know it's not easy to gain acceptance and I dare not imagine what will happen in the future. But as for now, right at this moment, I just really want to feel what I'm feeling now. I want to be a kid once again to believe in fairytales. I want to believe that history will not repeats itself. I truly hope for that.

I'm a person who believes in fate so yes, I guess this is what I'd like to call fated. It's just inevitable. The circle of people here is really small, that's true. So when you keep rejecting one person and keep hurting them and keep pushing them away, you do expect them to move on. It's no big deal. It's not like you've known for years or gone through life and death together.

But there's this one guy who never give up, never feel tired of expressing, always being there, always giving you everything that you need although you never return... You know he deserves you more than anyone does. You know, this is the one thing I want to hold on and believe in.

Never mind his past if he tells you now everyday , everynight that he loves you and he won't do the same to you because if he didn't mean it, he could have just left and not waste his time.

Girls usually are the decider. They decide whether they should give the guys a chance. I do not know if you'll have fairytales ending by giving that chance, but one thing I'm sure; you'll have wonderful and sweet memories. :)

Isn't life is about having no regrets?

You're human. Feel what you're suppose to feel.

XOXO, JL.

Hello! :)

It's been awhile, isn't it readers? =)

I've been really busy with college stuffs for the past one month. Now that everything is kinda over, I finally have some time.

Well. Semester 1 ended in a blink of an eye. Now all that's left of Semester 1 is my semester exam and MUET Speaking Test. Hopefully I'll pass with flying colours (and rainbow too, if possible) XD I'll have to admit that Semester 1 is a walk to remember. ;)

Can't wait for my two weeks back in KL. So many things are installed for me. I miss you guys in KL! Let's party as planned. :D

I'm glad we find our way out.

XOXO, JL.

We Grow.

It's true that everyday is a brand new experience. Hope it's not to late for me to realise that we shouldn't rush things, enjoy every moment of life. :) It's good to be around a bunch of matured people at times. Probably none of us are exceptionally rich because otherwise, we will have be in Taylors or Sunway. People like us tend to put down the ego and help each other out. Stop what we're currently doing just to help others out. That's how we live our life here and that's really nice.

Well, we might have very limited resources and entertainment here. The food, facilities and hostel here are awful. But I guess when you look at the brighter side, you'll see there's an added advantage here. People here don't just take advantage on you. You get to meet superb people! :D As I've always mentioned, the only reason I'm still here is probably because of the great people I've met. :)

Learning from people all over Malaysia, different background and culture, listening to thoughts on why they've made up their mind to come here instead there just made me realise how we grow. We're no longer kids. We stand up to every decision we made. It may not be at the best now, but one day, you'll take all the bad and it'll turn out to be good. I'm faithfully believing in that. :)

These are some of the latest pictures:

Live your life.

XOXO, JL.

Buddies! :D

Karaoke with Yih Mey buddy- Had a whale of time singing with her! She's always my karaoke partner, one that will always complain her voice is bad on microphone and yet, still accompanies me to karaoke every single time. Currently in Form 6, I know it's not easy for her. Especially when all of us ain't there! :P I do not know when will you be reading this but when you do, please strive through Form 6 no matter how hard it is. Do not give up! If you're about to break down, give me a call! I promise you I'll pick up or I'll give you a call back if I'm really busy. XD Take care dear! Thank you for asking me out! XOXO.

Night market and yum cha with Carmen dear-  It's such an honour that you've given me your first experience to night market. XD The fact that you're so hot and uneasy but yet, you squeezed through the entire night with me. =) Glad you love the foods there! I'll hope you'll remember me if you ever eat them again. ;) Now that my problems are almost settled, I hope yours can too! I'm sure you know what's best for you, for her and for him. No doubt, it's hard to make decision but always remember, if we don't make them now, we'll have to make them sooner or later. After all, life is about no regrets. :) Please do take good care of yourself. I know Sunway is not an easy place for you, but I'm so glad that you've strive through it. No longer that 'soft and weak' Carmen I used to know. :D Thank you for your homemade soya and dessert as well as the spirulina crackers. Send my regards to your parents! They are always so loving! :) Thank you for spending your precious time with me before I move back to Penang! XOXO.

Lunch and movie with Ziwah darling- First and foremost! Awesome driving skill you have there! Haha. Thank you for driving me around. It's really nice of you. Then your lunch treat at this really awesome place, Gardens. Next time, we'll go Fullhouse alright? My treat :) Honestly, I do not know why all your friends said you're 'man' now because for me, I seriously think that you're more girl now. Independent lady! I guess it's because they do not know you when you were in high school. HAH. That's what I call 'man'. =P The time I spent with you at Gardens prove me right. The way you were reading my text messages, that obviously show that you're being girl. LOL. I hope the next time I come back, you'll have someone to show me by then. :P All the best in HELP! Good luck in your second semester! Gambateh! I'm sure you can get all A's. :D Thank you for an awesome time cutie girl! :P XOXO.

High school was indeed a walk to remember. :)

If only everyone remembers...

XOXO, JL.

Sweet Memories.

I really hope I have enough sweet memories with you. Enough for you to share it your next partner-for-life.

I know it's my fault. I'm truly sorry. Guilt is just probably one small part. But the fact that I enjoyed my time with you, that's the main reason I was being selfish. I've always hope and wanting the courage to come. You've never failed to make me feel special and secure, but I guess that 'something' I have, it wasn't good enough.

Now that you've made up your mind, I truly hope that it's for the best. I really don't want you to get wasted or anything. I want to see the happy and loving face, which is NOT an act. You can be really dearly and sweet to girls, don't stop being that. Don't let your old self ruin that.

I truly hope that you'll find one that can accept you for whoever and whatever you are. I know you will. It's just the matter of time. And I know by then, I'd probably still hoping if only I had that courage... Still, you'll definitely have all my blessings and wishes from the bottom of my heart.

P/S: I'm pretty sure your partner won't be the one because I know deep down, even if your partner really has feelings, your partner won't pursue it. So no worries about that at all. :)

Take care, dear. Don't let 'us' ruin you. You're more than that.

When fate try to mess around with you.

XOXO, JL.

Clueless.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere, hanging on a single thread.

I do not know if I'm thinking too much or you are doing too much?
I do not know if I should let you in and risk it?

I do not know what is the right decision now.

Are we right where we should be?

XOXO, JL.

Dreams.

People always tend to say, "Dare to dream" or "Dream big" or "Do not give up on your dreams"...

Well, I'm not so sure if dreaming is a good thing but I'm not here to tell you to give up on your dreams. Just... Dreams can really break your heart at times. It can bring you and your loved ones down. I know my parents have never blame me that I didn't manage to get the overseas scholarship but you know, I still feel sorry for them. The fact that they feel sorry for me because they are unable to send me to my dream place - Yale makes thing worst. Now that I'm back, their actions ensure me that they felt awful for leaving me there at Penang all by myself so they're using these 2 weeks to "pay-me-back".

Honestly, I know to believe that I'll still be in Yale one day is unrealistic and childish but I still just really want to have something to work for you know? Something to look upon. Maybe, just maybe, one day, all these hard work and struggle will pay off.

Besides, if things go out of hand or really bad, all I really need is someone to be there for me, to believe in me, to care for me and to give me one big hug and I know I'll return back to the track, all ready for another round of race. I'm not sure if I have someone like this by my side because things haven't really be at the worst yet, but if I don't, I know I'll still have my parents to fight for.

Dad and mum! I love both of you no matter what! :D

Okay, enough of those sad stuffs! Life's too short! Haha.

To love or to be love?

XOXO, JL.

Pretending.

A really meaningful originals by Glee Cast - Finn and Rachel. They practically speak many hearts out I believe.

Face to face and heart to heart
We're so close yet so far apart
I close my eyes I look away
That's just because I'm not okay
But I hold on, I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we always, always, always be pretending

How long do I fantasize
Make believe that it's still alive
Imagine that I am good enough
And we can choose the ones we love
But I hold on, I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong,

Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we always, always, always be

Keeping secrets safe
Every move we make
Seems like no ones letting go
And it's such a shame
Cause if you feel the same
How am I supposed to know?

Will we ever say the words we're feeling
Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls
Will we ever have our happy ending?
Or will we forever only be pretending?
Will we always, always, always be
Will we always, always, always be

Will we always, always, always be 

Pretending

XOXO, JL.

Penang-KL. :)

PENANG TRIP WAS AWESOME. I'm pretty sure no one can deny that.

First and foremost. Thank you to the organisers-SK and his mum, brother (Chee Yuen) and the photographer- Ruo Bin.  They definitely did a great job! This trip has definitely created lots of sweet memories for me :) Thank you to everyone that is part of this wonderful trip. You people are what matters the most and the reason KMPP is not a living hell!

Happy holidays and be safe Penang kia(s)! Will miss all of you! :D

Hello KL dears and darlings! It had been awhile ;)

I miss all of you peeps! Let's meet up and catch up with each other's life! I'm sure all of us have many stories to share now. Haha. I still remember when we had such long holidays and everyone was complaining about boredom... Kinda miss that moment now, don't we? Lol.

P/S: Please let me know earlier the day and date you peeps want to meet up okay? I need to plan my schedule =P

I'm the type of person who wants to know the truth. I need answers to the most complicated questions. I'll manage even if it's something that I never want to hear. I want to have no regrets in life. So please, don't leave me hanging in the middle; unable to decide what to do next.

XOXO, JL.